Dwight's quotes

Dwight Schrute: "I have been Michael’s number two guy for about 5 years. And we make a great team. We’re like one of those classic famous teams. He’s like Mozart and I’m like...Mozart's friend. No. I’m like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like...Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart? You’re gonna get a bullet in your head courtesy of Butch Cassidy."

Michael Scott: Dwight, what is your middle name?

Dwight Schrute: Danger.

Michael Scott: It's something with a "K"...

Jim Halpert: It's Kurt... wow, it's so sad that I know that.

Dwight Schrute: Chu chu chu chu.

Jim Halpert: What are you doing?

Dwight Schrute: Vietnam sounds

Michael Scott: Dwight! Hey is it me or does this place smell like updog?

Dwight Schrute: What's up dog?

Michael Scott: Gotcha! Hahaha, oh god... crap. Nothin', how you doing?

Dwight Schrute: Good, how are you doing?

Dwight Schrute: When my mother was pregnant with me, they did an ultrasound and found she was having twins. When they did another ultrasound a few weeks later, they discovered, that I had resorbed the other fetus. Do I regret this? No, I believe his tissue has made me stronger. I now have the strength of a grown man and a little baby.

Dwight Schrute: Michael always says "K-I-S-S. Keep it simple, stupid." Great advice. Hurts my feelings every time.

Dwight Schrute: [bringing in a dead goose] I accidentally ran over it. It's a Christmas miracle!

Dwight Schrute [enters hallway]: Who did this to you? Where is he?

Pam: What, no it's nothing.

Dwight Schrute [takes off jacket, ties it around his waste]: It's hot in here.

Pam: Yeah.

Dwight Schrute: Yeah. [give Pam handkerchief]

Pam: Thanks, you don't need to stay here.

Dwight Schrute: I know. [puts arm around Pam]

Pam [continues crying]

Dwight Schrute: So you're PMS'ing pretty bad, huh?

Pam [cries more]

Dwight Schrute: I don’t believe you, continue

Dwight Schrute:Dolphins get a lot of good publicity for the drowning swimmers they push back to shore, but what you don’t hear about is the many people they push farther out to sea! Dolphins aren’t smart. They just like pushing things.

Dwight Schrute: People say, oh it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home, or the workplace. Well I say, it’s better to be hurt by someone you know, accidentally, than by a stranger, on purpose

more to come later..... :)

oooh how much better this made my day!